goetta

this is a weekend of music. its been a while for me and i am glad to have some shows on the old calendar.. tonight was at southgate house. when we got there i got a little waffle-y: $13 for a band i had just recently caught (and liked) on kexp.org as the song of the day? we splurged.

from the balcony of the ballroom we caught the opening band, the antlers. this was my kind of band to see live. the singer has got a great voice, there is a guy playing keys and making noise. and real loud drums. the noise that these guys were making made the place feel like a cathedral, tall and full of echoes and sounds going up. i don't think i am the only lady in on this, but i discovered years ago, when seeing cincinnati band chalk (LOUD), that there is a really fantastic vibratory thing that can happen when you are sitting up there, in those busted chairs, and things get loud enough. this band could do it, so ten points for them.

between sets, they played starfucker and i danced. and then they played smog, and it actually made me feel happy. need to check that new album.

au revoir simone was the goal. these ladies had some very adorable girl setting things up for them, so that when they came out on stage, it was really just stunning. its like three models with the same haircut got laid off and remembered that they could also all sing like angels and play keyboards, so they started a band. first impression. second impression is that they were so damn likeable! with cute little quips in between songs, a story about an ice cream truck, lots of giggling. totally girls. i wanted to hate them a little bit. but i enjoyed their entire set very much. i didn't actually bust into dance ever, but it moved me a bit for sure. they were loud, a lot of the songs rocked, their voices are lovely. and their songs are all different enough to be engaging all the way through, in a very hypnotizing way.

after the show, goetta and eggs over easy from the anchor grill.

DKC

summer

it has been hot and humid for days and tonight it became summer, officially.

i invested in a grill today, the smokey joe (pictured), and headed over to timmy's aka the dirty knees collective. the garden (that kind of dirty knees) that he has created in the past few weeks is really a most glorious sight. pictures to come. i planned on taking some tonight, but by the time i assembled smokey joe and tried to get him hot and ready, the downpour was upon us.

grilling out transported to the porch for a summertime feast. i enjoyed a cold porter while a more experienced griller got joe hot and ready for cooking (i hate that i can't seem to get that part down..) menu, in order of grilling: onions, peppers, zucchini, sausage, buns, corn. there are few things better than grilled zucchini. cut longways, drizzle olive oil, liberally s & p, grill till marked, flip, mark, eat. sweet and juicy (i love that i got that part down..)

it felt amazing to get wet in the rain, to eat grilled vegetables outside with mosquitoes, jenna and friends, to imagine enjoying the harvest that will come from that garden. it is summer and cooking and eating outside is so much more fun than in l'hospital!

molly's bday

we got to have molly time right after her birthday! and this is not a bad idea either: BEER CUPCAKES with BACON AND CHEDDAR CHEESE ICING. unfortunately, i don't have a recipe to share, but i think that if you can find one, you should run with it.

lemon

lemonade for the ladies:

juice of 6 lemons
5 oz. simple syrup
dash of rose flower water
1 quart water
10 oz. club soda
lots of ice

refreshment for a night of all lady gossip and laughing. on a school night.

corn

roasted corn salsa. it went down like this: roasted the corn on the grill yesterday. today added 3 cloves garlic, 2 jalapenos, 1/2 red onion, all chopped fine. 4 tomatoes diced. lots of s & p. juice of two limes, a spoonful of sugar, a dash of rice wine vinegar. if you wanted, you could add cilantro, but i must say that i think the corn flavor of this salsa doesn't need all that extra greenery.

today we moved jenna home to her apartment. so nice for her to be in her space. i was surprised how much it got me thinking about wanting MY own space. i have been living here with mama llama and alaina.. in this big old house with plenty of space, a wonderful kitchen. it has been a nice place to land after all that transition.. i have fondly started thinking of the place as a sorority house (RUSH alpha sigma mu!) full of ladies, coming and going, doing their own separate things for fun, not getting in eachothers way, catching up in passing.

i am a little nervous to start looking for a spot for me and tuck, as it means two big things. 1) i'll be living on my own and 2) means i am here in cincinnati for a bit. i haven't done much living alone. that is a weird concept for me. i have always preferred to have people around, coming and going. somebody to eat the food that i'm making, someone who is there late at night for those amazing only-when-you're-roommate conversations. obviously, i am in cincinnati and will be for now. but i guess i get held up at the flexiblity that this current arrangement affords me. i could save my money for travel- i could save my money for some big dreams that take big money.

but today, seeing how much it meant for jen to be in her own space, with her things, knowing it was hers and she has created it as a sweet little haven with timmy, how good would that do me? while this home has been wonderful and open to me, it is not mine, i don't have many things in the space that are mine, relective of me- as i was able to do the wonderful exercise of leaving behind most of my belongings in walla walla. i hadn't, until recently, set up any sort of shop in the kitchen.

sometimes i wonder if i would feel more settled, in myself, in being here, if i were to have this space of my own, with my own things, with time alone in a space of my creation. i have lived on my own since i first moved out ten years ago and i wonder what the subconscious effects of living back home at this point, at this age, at this crossroads are. i can't help but feel slightly irresponsible, feel the burn of embarrassment that i am not providing for myself. but that is all on me, as the generosity of my mom and sister to share 'home' with me is given so freely and without question (maybe they even kinda like it!)

the nice thing is that i don't need to decide right now. i can keep picking up dishes and bark art at the thrift store until the next direction presents itself.

SHORTS!

summer short story writing club! (SHORTS!)

for starting night, thinking thursday, june 4. 8-10 pm or 9-11 pm or 7 till close. arlins on ludlow.

anyone who wants to come, have some beers, sit outside with other people who want to do more creative writing..

this is the deal: i am thinking that i will bring something that can be a sort of prompt. a photo, or an image or something. i will be working on this for the next week. next time, somebody else gets to do it. we will get there, with our papers and our pencils, and we will look at the image or the thing and we will write. short, long, doodles, whatever moves you. and then we can share, or we can not. we can take our stuff home and work on it more, or we can never look at it again. we can leave and on the way out pass our writing to someone else to read on their time, in a different place. or we can keep it all to ourselves.

then we will meet again, maybe with different folks, definitely with a different prompt. hopefully just as much excitement to be starting a new SHORT!

buns

i am making a few things for grilling out tomorrow. do you know that not all people say grilling out? the OUT is usually left off on the west coast, they say BBQ or GRILLING or something like that. i say GRILL OUT and i am true to my midwestern roots, even though now everytime i say it, something seems off.. and i would almost rather grill IN, inside, in the A/C- this delicate flower is wilting in this oppressive humidity. i don't know if i am going to last here the whole summer... get me near some water!

anyways. back to the cooking. mom was getting ready to toss some ears of corn, i grabbed them, shucked them, rolled them in oil, s & p, crushed red flakers, and a few shakes from my favorite tin of hot hungarian paprika- then grilled out. ha. after cooling off, cut off the fire roasted kernels, and i'm planning a salsa/guac of some sort. thinking lime juice, avocados, tomato, onion, peppers.

i've also started a brioche for buns for the burgs. i will share this recipe, to assuage some of the guilt i feel from stealing it from a religious nut that i worked with in some fancy shmancy joint years ago...

1/2 c. milk

1 package insta-yeast

1/2 c. flour

-warm milk, whisk in yeast and flour, cover tight and let rise 10-15 minutes

-mix in, with dough hook, or with your hands (sticky!):

8 eggs

4 c. flour

4 tbsp. sugar

2 teas. salt

-add 2 c. butter, cubed, at room temp.

-cover tight and then cover with a warm, damp cloth

-rise till double

-put in a mold, large cupcake pan works and let rise again (should i add to my bday wishlist now? silpat baking molds)

-bake at 350 till golden (20-30 minutes)

these buns will the put the boeuf in your ass too. eat one right outta the oven. eat one with a burg on it. stay cool and watch some parades for your homies.

avgolemono

the girl is CRAVING this today. we had it last week, from myra's dionysus, with a sesame salad. it was amazing, of course. but myra's doesn't open till 5 pm on sundays. and i'm cooking, so here we go.

i haven't made this greek soup before, but i like eating it. and i like messing around with soups the most of anything, so this will be my version. i did do a little recipe research, just to get started. chicken broth, rice/orzo, eggs, lemon. the egg part is the trickiest part, and makes the thick, rich texture- or it can "break" or curdle with the lemon juice. and it also makes this pretty much an eat it once soup and then get rid of the leftovers, the texture and taste won't be the same after reheating. so challenge #1- get the eggs in right, challenge #2- cook just the right amount.

chopped up 1 fennel bulb, 1 bulb of garlic, 1 onion, a few ribs of celery. sauteed till soft in butter and olive oil. added 1 box of good chicken broth (one day i will be a woman with chicken broth made from chicken carcasses and veggies and frozen or fridged till soup is made, one day..) and some chicken boullion cubes. gross! but the flavor! and some orzo pasta. cooked the pasta in the broth till soft. turned the soup off at the point, pulled out about a cup of broth, whisked three eggs into that, then whisked that mix back into the soup slowly- so the eggs didn't get too shocked by their new surroundings. squeeze lemon juice before serving.

burned

my mind has been spinning today. and my heart has been working overtime, pumping out all the good stuff to a few people who have been on my mind..

we closed the shop and made super fun drink #2. milk with vanilla bean steamed and poured macchiato style over espresso. sprinkled with brown raw sugar and burned with a blow torch. macchiato bruleed.

it was still light out so i drank the whole thing and crunched through the sugar at the bottom of the cup. delish.

i'll get the hang of this picture business. i think i need to load the one i want you to see last, first.. (note to self..)

egg salad/can i blog before work?

i have been having a ferocious attack of the egg salad craving. i think it started on the night of the blt salad, nothing better than a scoop of egg salad on a blt sandwich. or maybe it started when i read about egg salad in this EAT ME book. and maybe it got stronger when i read about egg guacamole in this EAT ME book. and i bet it really got crazy when i started writing that post about mayo and hedonism. (ps- i'm loving thinking of myself as a hedonist. i feel like an absolute dirty rotten scoundrel, a pirate, and a "hometown superhero" all rolled up. i am channeling some very good power from this idea.) either way, this craving has come on strong and i tried to live through yesterday without having any and that is just not going to work for today.

this is the sierra method for hard boiling some eggs, as learned from mama llama, tall dave and now kenny shopsin. you would be AMAZED at how hard it is for some people. if it is hard for you, please learn, and then make it your own- eggs are the most customizable food...

i put the eggs in a pot with cold water and some salt (mom says vinegar makes the shells come off easy- next time), the water covering the eggs. i bring to a boil without a lid. when the water boils, i cover the pot with a lid and turn off the heat. the amount of time that you let the eggs sit at this point is gonna determine a few things, how soft the yolk is, how beautiful your egg salad is going to be, and how much mayo you are going to need to use.

i go with about 11 minutes, depending how much attention i am paying to what i am doing. and then i stick the pot in the sink and run cold water over the pot, moving out the hot water. i waste all this water till the water in the pot is cold. i guess you could put some ice in or something, but you really want to STOP the cooking and get the eggs coldish. then i peel the eggs.

egg salad is going to be most beautiful if you have nice bright yellow yolks. this comes from cooking em right and also from using great eggs. i don't happen to have great (just good, they are going to get the job done) eggs this morning, and things are kinda hurried with having to work soon, so i just used what we had. but you can get great eggs at my friend's farm- hokybe farms in oxford. the chickens are running all around the cows (get your steaks there too! grass fed, yum!) and those chickens make some beautiful eggs. the taste difference is really amazing. i started eating farm fresh eggs in walla- we got them from the monteillets. joan would let the chickens lay where ever and then she would wander around and gather them up.. so you never knew if it was a "fresh" egg, but it was cool, they tasted so damn good!

the amount of mayo you need to use depends on how great those eggs taste and how hard they are cooked, and the texture you are looking for. i probably land on the softer end of the hard boiled scale- but still cooked cause i am me. i am going to mash up these eggs, stir in a blob of mayo, some of this really special tomatillo salsa (this is the crunch and the vinegar and the sweetness and some smokey/roasty heat, my goodness its good!), some s & p. and then i am going to eat it with chips and then i am going to work!

blt-ass

blt-ass. bacon lettuce tomato avocado sesame sticks sunflower seeds. lots of ranch dressing.

i am very wary of people who do not appreciate mayonaisse, mayonaisse based condiments and condiments in general. the more the merrier. maybe this is why no matter how much i power walk, i stay the same.

isn't it lovely when you find yourself reading a book that you stumbled on without designs.. and it turns out to be most pertinent to what you are thinking about, blogging about, etc? today i picked up this book called 'the sea, the sea' by iris murdoch. so far, it has got me, hook- line- and sinker.

it is about this guy who seemingly has been in the theatre for a long time, and has just retired to live near the sea. he opens with a description of the sea, he is just warming up to tell you about his writing: "it is necessary to write, that much is clear, and to write in a way quite unlike any way which i have employed before. what i wrote before was written in water and deliberately so." i like thinking about that. reminds me of what my dad would have us do when we were kids. he would set us up on the driveway or the house on a sunny day with buckets of water and his old painter brushes. hours of entertainment.

but this guy wants you to know that he is just recording his thoughts and life and observations at this point, knowing that more is going to come out along the way. parallels? yes.

and then he describes his lunch. and how he has thought of writing a cookbook.. . that all his readers/cookers "would be hedonists". i have never thought of myself as a hedonist before, and i am fairly sure that this word has some negative connotation attached to it... but i think i might be willing to claim it as a fair descriptor- definitely where food is concerned.

"in food and drink, as in many (not all) other matters, simple joys are the best as any intelligent self lover knows." simple joys = salad dripping with ranch dressing, a perfectly ripe avocado, crispy romaine lettuce, and sitting around with jenna.

temple of love

me and tuck headed up to mount storm park today for walking. it is a most glorious day here in cincinnati. big blue sky, hot sun, but you don't feel it in the shade, a little breeze. nice.

seeing the temple of love in a state of disrepair/repair (hard to tell) and being in mt. storm got me thinking (does it ever stop). i have lots of memories of code and mt. storm. we lived right down the road from here before we moved, so we hung out here a lot. i have been having some pretty directionless reminiscing/compare and contrast thought sessions about code and tucker and love.

it has been a little over a year since code died. and it has been a little less than a year since tucker popped into the picture. i think all the time about how amazing code was. how much time we spent together, how having him be himself taught me so much about myself. how he was enormous and lazy and a fighter but mostly a lover and how he was definitely the alpha and how he hogged the whole bed and how he didn't always feel like making friends and how he made me laugh and kept me company and made me feel safe when i lived and walked in some dicey neighborhoods. how we traveled together. how he became different in washington. the same but different. how he faked a limp while i was in thailand and the minute i got home, he was fine. how he kept an eye on me.

tucker is slowly winning my heart. he won my affection and loyalty and care right outta the hardware store. this guy is weasling in there and i love it. i love to love him and i think all the time about how expansive this is for my heart. to know that i am loving again. loving this little guy that is totally the opposite of that code. he is like a little crazy sweet leprechaun. i always assume that he is getting into some sort of trouble, but he is usually just trying to eat a rawhide, without much success (little mouth and little teeth). he is so easy, loves walking around off his leash, stays close to me and i never worry. i never worry that he won't be making friends. he has all these silly things that he does and i am always laughing at him.

it was so nice to have a new little friend move in, i didn't really know if i was "ready" and i know that i have not been as tuned into him as i was with code. i have a hard time knowing that he will not be forever (another good lesson?). but we are slowly getting there. we have transitioned well together. we have our things that we do.

and it is nice to have this dog analogy for the rest of my life. it gives me lots of peace to know that things change and it really hurts your heart and then you find out some new things that you love about yourself that you wouldn't have know if your heart hadn't hurted so much and you find new people to love and new things to love and they are different but they are really good. and everything starts to fit into where you are at in your life now, and that is really nice to think about.

deserving of real plates

things are going from finish to start today. newbie. i am gonna roll with it.

antipasto style caesar salad. toast of wheat baguette from shadeau. half belgian endive. caesar dressing: 1 egg, oil and vinegar from roasted tomato/onion/garlic, 2 anchovies, juice from 1 lemon, hot hungarian paprika, lots of black pepper, bit of dijon mustard, large amounts of parmesan. in a hot pan, sauteed thin sliced lemon, garlic, jalapeno. served with those sweet piquante peppers (hot). poured dressing over endive, held endive at root end and ate from leafy end in. grilled lemon party on the toast.

pasta. tomatoes- fresh and sundried, whole garlic cloves, sweet onions roasted. rolled in olive oil, balsamic vinegar, rose', s & p, crushed red magic and this caper/oregano spice mix that i put on everything. been thinking about rose' since yesterday. it was sunny and i was cooking, so i busted out my last bottle from the walla walla stash- waterbrook sangiovese, 2006. drained off the juice (tomato, vinegar, oil) at about 15 minutes, and used it for the caesar dressing, let the onion get a little brown, tomatoes wrinkled. tomato mix goes into the pot with the cooked pasta. stirred in goat cheese, parmesan, basil. things mashed and melty.

warning: some of us are on steriods, but regardless, this is the kind of pasta that you could easily start eating and suddenly realize that you ate the whole damn mess of it. perfect creaminess balanced with perfect acidity. summertime lightness, dangerous decadence.

warning #2: i just ate lots of garlic and some anchovies. just saying.

warning #3: i am making this again and we are eating it off of real plates. the only disappointing thing about cooking for the hospital is presentation. today i tried, and it is even more depressing to see that pretty salad on a styrofoam plate. i remembered real forks!

about billy/more about me

billy wants me to write about him. there are a couple things that are cool about billy. he has cool shoes. he makes good coffee. he has pet rabbits. and he is a student of english literature. this is the most fascinating to me.

i have been on the fence, but a tiny bit proactive about returning to college. i have not really given college a fair shot since the get go, ten years ago. well, i take that back, i did give it a good shot in the beginning. i went far away. i lived in the dorms. i took classes that sounded interesting. but then i got distracted. or i got irritated at the idea of studying stuff that all had to add up to a certain number of credits in this subject or that and the expense and the time and the part about me not really knowing what i wanted it all to add up to. but i do really like learning, and i do really want to learn about english literature.

i am constantly reading. most people know that i am very into the transportive experience of reading a book, as a daydreamer and thinker, books give me lots to live on. i was always encouraged to read growing up. my parents are both very smart people, but this is not the kind of household with a library. i have created my own library, collecting and reading books that i have found and enjoy, stuff that i know has been important to literature, to other writers, books that friends have recommended, the reading lists that jenna had in school. this has been my mental exercise. and i really really love it.

i am thinking of going back to college and i want to try an approach that has worked for me in the past. i was interested in food, i did food for a hobby, i did food for a job. i got my culinary degree and it was no sweat, cause i liked learning more, it was interesting, it felt useful for life. i think that the same applies to learning more about books, thinking about books- i am already doing it, it is fun for me, it is interesting. reading will always be a part of my life. maybe taking away the pressure of getting a degree for some job. putting pressure on learning for the fun of it. and seeing where that takes me...

the hold up here is that i have shaken baby syndrome about analyzing and talking and writing about things that i have read. i can trace it all back to a teacher that i had in high school. it was english AP (we got college credit from a test) and i was a senior. i was in the class with a few of my good friends and also a few of the people that i was most intimidated by in school. the teacher was thought to be amazing, she got almost all her kids to pass this big test at the end of the class. her classes were full of discussion. she had been teaching for years. this woman was a monster. she absolutely scared the shit out of me. in my mind, she is the huge witch mermaid who steals ariel's voice. sitting there large and intimidating and angry (with electric eels, etc). she trained all of us to write for this test. reading books for the year and writing papers in this format where we stated our point in the first paragraph, supported it in the next three, then concluded. probably pretty standard. for some reason, being forced to write in this way took all of the fun out of it for me. we read so many great books in that class. i enjoyed so much of that part. so many books that had amazing ideas, word choice, themes, it was really incredible. it was just so blah to have to stuff any ideas about the things that made those books special into this tight two page, five paragraph mold. and i think that it took my voice away. in hindsight, i have since avoided everything that would involve me writing about anything.

it is interesting to me the timing of this business that i am doing on here. i am loving the WRITING, i am loving the thinking about the writing. i want to write even more than i have been. i want to write about everything. college orientation is in a few weeks. it seems that there is some voice coming out here. i trust what i am saying is real, authentic, from me. i can't help but wonder if i will be able to keep it real. the writing, the enjoyment and inspiration of the reading. i have read so many books that have moved me. moved me into a different mental state, changing my sense of creativity, fantasy and whimsy. moved my sense of self, my understanding of written communication. is this a good idea? do they want you to keep it real in college? does it matter if i do it for fun? is there such a thing? sorry if i drill you with questions billy.

p.s. -consider that i have already done tons of entry level coursework (except composition, no joke). i have random credits piled up all over the place! i can presumably fast track to the fun part!

false advertising

turns out i have a lot more i want to tell the computer than i ever imagined. i thought it would be a wonderful discipline to write about food, but today is all about not that. today is about MPP.

my foray, sashay into this interesting world of blog came this year. late bloomer, i know. i both enjoyed and not a period of unemployment this winter. i started reading blogs. i mostly started reading about music. i consider myself to be fairly knowledgeable about music, maybe not about music that happened in the eighties as this culture didn't really get into my life (living under a rock?) and i haven't made a huge effort to catch up... but ever since i discovered pearl jam in junior high, i have sworn that i wouldn't fall behind what is happening out there.. seeing friends older brothers wearing tshirts from lalapalooza shows where pearl jam, soundgarden, red hot chili peppers all played together! i was sick with envy. and a few years too late. of course, i only like to discover stuff that i like. but that is all that matters. when it happens it is like birthday presents.

the fun thing about music blogs and being unemployed is that you can check out lots of music for free. so i started getting pretty into that. a bunch of the sites that i was checking regularly where talking ALL about animal collective and how MPP was going to be this earth shattering new musical ride. it got to the point where i felt like this was all i was reading about all the time and i got turned off by all the attention. thinking surely since these people are getting all crazy, that it either wasn't going to be good, or it was going to be good- but i don't know something about it made me frown, become uninterested and start reading other blogs that happen to be written by and about people that i know. (and this is where the idea of this whole thing started to become a sparkle in my eye..)

well, animal collective played on letterman last week, and not that i am watching tv ever, but i do sometimes see something on the internet and watch it. (joaquin pheonix, etc. maybe i should just start watching letterman?) it was really fun to watch, even though the boys are just standing there in front of their magical music making tables. and things light up and the coolest kids were in the back doing some sort of interpretive giant puppet/stilts dance. overall, it made me remember that i hadn't picked up this album that i had spent a lot of time reading about. i got it. and there is some good stuff going on!

since i seem to be unable to keep my secrets and childhood photos off of this- i will just go ahead and tell you all that i power walk. for exercise, for health, for head clearing, pounding, sweaty movement. and i turn up the tunes and i really move it. it is really good. today- this was the power walking soundtrack. and it was super fun and it got me to that place where i am all legs and arms and booty moving fast and hard and to the beat of my heart and the music and my breathing and the rest of me, my head, thoughts were soaring along with the tunes. and that is all it takes for me to become a fan of anything. so, i guess the moral is that it is worthy of all that ranting raving attention.

now i am going to read this new cooking book that i picked up yesterday. excited that it is for reading and laughing and full of recipes: EAT ME, THE FOOD AND PHILOSOPHY OF KENNY SHOPSIN. i am sure that i will be delivering a review on content, hilarity and excitement soon! and if it really gets me, i am going to have to get up there and watch that guy be a character while i am eating his food.

rEEEEEEEEdiculous

i am a montessori kid. i am not trying to make excuses, but let's just say that my early, formative education in the realm of spelling and grammar were very interpretive.

everything that i learned about syntax came much later, when i started studying languages. i love languages, have studied a few and have mastered none, but i am just going to take a second to justify my spelling of RIDICULOUS (see yogurt post). i spell it REDICULOUS, cause that is how i say it. i really draw out that first E (which turns out to be a sound, as there is not an E anywhere in the word- where you people live), depending on the magnitude of craziness, excitement, awe, joy that i feel towards whatever.

latin: so there has been a bunch of latin in my life. good stuff. useful in learning about where our words come from. but even they used RE- as a prefix. to suggest intensity. i think that works with my spelling of REDICULOUS, hmmm?

spanish: same as latin, confusingly different and the same (again, with the intensity).

russian: they are using a whole other alphabet, so this hasn't really helped me with spelling of english words.

please enjoy my writing and spelling and know that i have no idea what tense i am writing in ever, but am trying a little to be consistent. i don't think that i ever use punctuation properly, love the comma and love ellipsisesseeseses... and know that i am just trying to talk to myself and enjoy some thoughtful time. in the hopes of getting some of this load out of my head and into a different place so that i can get new, really fun stuff in there. idea displacement.

and p.s.- turns out this is about food only some of the time. but it is always in there, don't worry, i'll have days off soon and will cook up a storm.

haircut/not about food

today greg is here. magical to have a friend who has known me so well for so long now, what has it been- since junior year of high school- 11 years? he has been a wonderful, present friend to me through all the stuff. and he loves jenna. so good.

our second go round of being roomies, greg and i would sit around on the back sun porch, reading, listening to music, smoking and drinking. and he would cut jenna's hair. she was going through an asheville induced phase, short short hair. if memory serves, this hairstyle required nightly trimming, restyling, maintenance.

of course greg would swoop in on this weekend, the week after things have gotten long and hard and real. to free jenna of some of that pile of hair. to boost both of our spirits. to laugh that laugh.

i smile when i think about all of these amazing people that have been such great friends since that time, how we are all so close and supportive of eachother, even though we are living far away from eachother and don't get to spend near enough time together. how rare it is to have the kinds of connections that we have, having witnessed eachother becoming who we are going to be, who we are trying to be, and maintaining such respect and love. i get so lonely for you guys, wishing that we were in the same place, able to be living daily together, but it is so nice to know that you are all out there, spread out across the country- sending reiki from brooklyn, seeing jenna in the walla walla sunset, coming to me when i need you!

coffee nerds

we had this afterhours coffee shop meeting tonight and it was FUN! first, we sat around and ate adriatico's pizza and i don't really know what all happened during the meeting part. probably something about how we are the best coffeeshop in the city (thanks, citybeat!). i was too busy looking at the garlic butter sauce and trying to think of ways to get it all in my mouth without anyone noticing. this is the first time i have had adriatico's since moving back. so lets just fake like i was super intense on the pizza because it has been four freaking years! why would a girl wait so long?

besides the point. the point is, that after we closed up the meeting, a few of us coffeeheads stuck around and nathan whipped out all this amazing stuff. a weeks worth of preparation for a "signature drink". that is what they call them at the barista olympics. now, i am not one for messing with coffee, i like to have an americano with a touch of cream- but this combo had a lot of my favorite things going on:

-pears poached in

-honey/vanilla broth

-hand (i did it!) whipped cream that had marinated with fennel bulb/vanilla/sugar

-camomile tea

-coffee emporium ol' black magic espresso

the way it went down in the cup:

pears were mashed with some of that honey liquid in the bottom of the cup. the tea filled the cup about 2/3, then espresso shot, finished with some of that whipped cream.

good god. i think that it was supposed to be a star anise sort of whipped cream, but using fresh fennel was amazing (see birthday wishlist- this is gonna become the best ice cream ever made). i normally try to limit my coffee intake in the evenings, but i could have polished off this entire drink. nice mellow sweetness from the pear/honey mash. using tea for the americano water is really blowing my mind, i am having a hard time thinking of anything else. this concept will definitely get some experiment attention from me. and the whipped cream added richness, creaminess and depth, while still being light enough to let the pear come on through. it was hard to remember that this was a coffee drink. but i had a few sips, looked around and saw that it was dark outside- and let my willpower take over. if only i could say the same for the garlic butter. ha.

http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-jimgermanbar-waitsburg

sometimes when i get low self-esteemy, wondering if i will ever be making amazing food again, wondering if i will take risks to create things that i haven't had before, i like to read this review. third one down, DARIO B., you have no idea how much your praise feeds me when i am hungry:

"Food is prepared in a tiny kitchen by a passion driven girl, it's clear at the first bite."

that's all it takes.

greek yogurt

greek yogurt is really really really good. and things just got rediculous.

i got on the highway and went to trader joe's last week- it was that cheese plate night, and i thought i would a)see what all the hype is about trader joe's and b)get some cheese or some wine or some other interesting stuff.

i have only ever been to trader joe's in boston. there is one right on the line that greg takes home, so we stopped there one night on the way from some museum or whatever fun boston thing we were doing and it was cute! i am very very very curious about the grocery business. i have thought long and hard about groceries and markets. i don't get how they work. i would love to have someone explain to me how they make money. in my mind, they function as non-profits, just doing a good job of paying the people that work for them and having some food on the shelves, hoping that at the end of the year, they budgeted correctly. i can't imagine that this is accurate (krogers, duh), and i am sure that i could easily read a book about it and get set straight- sometimes it is more fun for me to think whatever silly story that i have come up with in my head. but i have heard all about trader joe's: how they buy MASS of something and package it and it is cheap. and they aren't messing around. they have got some pretty decent stuff in there that is CHEAP!

the cincinnati trader joe's is not at all as cute as the one that i remember from boston, no escalator, no crates and stacks and piles that make it look more like a co-op. no cute boys. this trader joe's has been fitted into a strip mall next to a sequin/prom/bridal shop. i walked in and all the cheese is right there. no dice. nothing caught my eye and i was getting a little anxious because that place was a zoo. i felt like there was a madness in the place, like people were suspicious that i was going to take their bargains, or that there was some sort of speed shopping competition happening. it was not peaceful for browsing. not at all. but since i was all the way out there, i just did some good defensive shopping- giving a wide berth to all those crazies. i got some good stuff! the dried fruits, nuts and jar things are all very interesting and very well priced.

and then i went over to the refrigerator. and GREEK YOGURT! i have been paying upwards of $5 for a big tub at keller's IGA, and i know what y'all are thinking, keller's is spendy. and i know it is, but you can't put a price on them being such a nice non-profit to do business with... trader joe's has all sorts of flavors and they're cheap! i am working on this one right now, some sort of apricot/mango/heaven flavor. i think it was something like $1.69- and it is a nice portion. i am actually getting full and wondering if it is going to hinder my rollerskating tonight. i get sucked in when i see "apricot" and "mango", so seeing both of those on the same label gave me complete tunnel vision, but i am pretty sure that there were other flavors too: pomegranate, honey, etc. i will make sure to get more and taste all those too.

i am officially allowed to talk about my birthday starting june 8. but i am unofficially allowed to talk about it starting may 11. i can't help it, i get excited about birthdays!


i would like to start my unofficial birthday wishlist. since this is supposed to be my forum for all things food related, and as i have already strayed.. i will get back on track and make sure that i only talk about the food related wishes...


-paella pan (12 ppl, atleast)
-cazuelas (spanishtable.com - 15 cm)
-ice cream maker


so far, this is all i got. i will be delighted by any other presents, as you know- easily delightable girl here...


not only are you giving a gift to me, you are giving yourself a gift too! i make a mean pistachio gelato, and i can't eat it all by myself! i will get that paella pan hot on the big outdoor burner that my dad's got and we can have a party! and the cazuelas! let me tell you! roast some veg in there- sweet potatoes, kale, roasted peppers and right before done- crack an egg on there and finish it in the oven till over easy- the yolk is the sauce.. it makes me hungry. got to go!

food lovers companion

from now on i am gonna call this most useful of food references: the food lovers chompanion. when they change the name and i get rich, know that you saw it here first.

greek picnic/not about food

this was lunch today. hummus, baba, tabouli, roasty red and eggplant spread. tomato and feta salad. delish and summery. first best watermelon of the year.

i was thinking today on my walk about moms (residual), then started thinking about my dad. i decided that today should be mr. mom day. as a pioneer to having a stay-at-home dad who acted in full capacity as a traditional mom (i know that there are others older than me, but we sure felt like pioneers, and its a fact that mama and papa llama felt like rare birds), i think that it is up to me to designate this alternative hallmark holiday..

cards would read: to the dad who helped me pack lunch, got us off on the school bus, came on field trips, volunteered at school, coached our soccer teams, took us to play with our friends, made dinner, cleaned the house, bought us tampons, and entertained us all summer long.. you are the best mr. mom ever!

maybe mom can get her alterna holiday the day after fathers day: to the mom who brings home the bacon and looks hot in a (pant)suit, thanks for rocking the boat!

i am grateful to have such great parents, to have been made into a product of such unique people. and in a way, grateful that at this age, i get to know both of them individual of eachother... i wonder if things would have been different if their roles had been different, but am so glad that they weren't. i get to have a close relationship with a gentle, emotional man. and i respect that my mom is powerful, independent and realistic.

we all sat at the dinner table together last night. this is becoming the most interesting year yet.

cake!

birthday cake is a funny thing in the laumer family. alaina asked for chocolate cake from a box- obviously with those sprinks on there. and we had graeters ice cream.

jenna always has the same cake. cookies and cream ice cream melted and mixed with crushed oreos and cool whip, then frozen back into a log. same every year since birth.

i can't think of what my treat is, i guess whatever the restaurant is serving? i better start mulling this one over.. i'm next!

things are roasting hot at the coffee emporium. amazing how fast the place heats up with an espresso machine, a conveyor belted toaster oven and a panini grill. doesn't help that it is muggy in cincinnati. y'all know it is, i talk about it all the time. HUMID!

anyways, the bananas got brown fast this week! i brought them home and spent some time baking. first, i went through a stack of recipes that had amassed in a drawer on valencia street, amazed that they made it all the way back here with me.. remembering all the things i would make for our little household.. ah, memories. i knew there was a good banana bread recipe in there, found it and got to baking.

1 1/3 c. whole milk

2 tbsp. vanilla

juice from 1 lemon (mix these three together, buttermilky)

5 c. cake flour (didn't say this had any nutritional value)

2 tsp. baking powder

1 1/2 tsp. salt

1 tsp. baking soda

2 sticks butter (softened)

1 1/3 c. sugar

4 large eggs, 1 yolk (i always toss in an extra yolk to anything i am baking- rich!)

5 bananers

2 c. chopped walnuts

you know the drill. beat the butter and sugar till light and fluffy. add eggs slowly. beat in bananas. add dry alternately with wet. stir in the walnuts. bake at 375, of course- till springy to the touch.

i always forget (or just have serious scarring from my days as a pastry chef) how much i love baking, especially this easy stuff. instant gratification baking. i love the yeasty rising ten million step bread baking too, but it sure is nice to mix and bake and smell and eat.

after the bread (cake) cooled, i cut half into thick slices and left them out to stale overnight. this morning, i whisked up some eggs, milk and vanilla and poured it over the bread while i was packing up for brunch. fried the slices in butter, baked for about ten minutes in the oven, and took to l'hospital for best brunch ever!

stopped for coffee and the times on the way and enjoyed some quiet time with jenna in her bed. it was so peaceful and wonderful. scanned the whole paper, listened to tunes, talked about ace hotel and pok pok (why is everything pointing to portland this weekend?)

the docs and nurses took the leftovers! i have been trying to pawn food off on them this whole time, and finally at day 17- they are getting hip to the fact that the sister of the girl in room 541 cooks for a freaking army!

i had some cheese the other night. it was a night of wanting to be eating cheese at jimgermanbar, sitting with a cocktail and a book, with friends coming in, conversation of the easy and heartfelt kind, knowing that there will be a great cheap red wine, with cupcakes and sparkling for dessert. hearing music that i haven't yet discovered, but familiar. then a long drive home on hot roads, deserted, with a big moon, a cool wind coming in through the windows, my hair whipping around, the music loud, stars weighing down the sky, smiling so big that i cry at the thought of the happiness in my heart. and sleep without stress, sound and restful.

i haven't recreated any of this here yet. someday i will have a place that feels this way. it'll feel this way for me in the hospitality that i provide- genuine, easy, true to myself. and people will enjoy fine drinks and snacks with the ease of simplicity and the art made by keeping things pure. they will meet eachother and feel uninhibited by the space, by the lighting, by the good stuff, and they will share more deeply and more meaningfully than they have in a long time, because they will feel connected.

in the meantime, i quest for knowledge of all things that will be in that place. cheese, charcuterie, bread, oils, pickled goodies, salts, juice, sugar, herbs, fruits, wine, alcohols, cocktails, beer, wine, coffee. music. art. books. ideas. politics. space. nature. all the best stuff.

i made up my own damn cheese plate. and had some lillet for starts.
-ossau-iraty (sheep's milk from the french pyrenees)
-mahon (cow's milk from minorca)
-humboldt fog (goat's milk, cypress grove, ca)

i had sardines, salami, dried figs, peppers, olives. a nice old hunk of bread. and a bottle of chateau smith- cab sauv. and a bunch of daydreams.

risotto

eating habits have been changed in the past few weeks. my best eating/dining/drinking partner has been on lockdown with a bunch of adorable bald headed kids. so the food is made here, taken there, eaten off paper plates and treasured- as an event of bringing us together with something to do in a very sterile, boring place. the act of eating is a main event, something we look forward to all day, time to be together.

after a week of working hard and not having all that much time or energy for cooking (the worst predicament to find myself in.. cooking gives me joy: quiet time to think, a sense of creation and artistry, results that nourish the special folks that get to share the chow down and community in the gathering) i made the time to cook dinner, with fair warning to those counting on me that it would be a minute. i wanted it to be a minute. i wanted to get to cook for a WHILE. and i wanted to be stirring something on a hot stove. something that would need my attention, keep me cooking... what better dinner than risotto?

not gonna lay this out in recipe format, cause we are talking cooking, not baking, and it isn't a step by step process. it is more prose, the journey, so that is how this will look:

i started with my huge, industrial, thick bottomed frying pan. heated oil and butter in the pan, till warm, then stirred in the dry arborrio rice. roasted the rice in the fats. (stirring). the fat gets sucked up by the rice, so there's some pan stickage- poured in white wine to bloom the rice and to take care of the pan. this gives the rice amazing flavor and you don't have a sticky mess of a pan when you're done. (the really fun part of making food in a pan that requires "deglazing" is that you can enjoy the rest of the bottle while you are making your feast, or use wine that is maybe a few days old and not great for drinking- but would still provide the alcohol and flavor for the dish). once that liquid was all soaked up, added a bunch of stock. at this point, i got a change of scenery, letting the arborrio do its job of being the biggest sponge in action- over low heat.

my change of scenery involved laying bacon on a sheet pan and baking it in the oven. this is my preferred way of cooking bacon, as it is relatively clean, the bacon gets crispy without getting burned, and there isn't so much popping and spitting of hot bacon fat. i have ruined too many shirts standing near a pan of bacon frying on stovetop. with the bacon in, i started chopping. i went for a somewhat spring vegetable medley. couple cloves of garlic, couple shallots, lots of leeks, a sweet onion, green peas, zucchini and some baby bellas.

in my smaller, industrial, thick bottomed fry pan, i started the onion family in some olive oil. and back to the risotto for another stir. things get thick. i taste at this point, although the rice is usually still hard- just to give me a gauge- and cause it already starts to look done, and sure smells amazing, making a girl hungry! once the liquid is mostly gone, it's time to repeat the stock event. fill er up to let the risotto soak it all in. tossed my onions around over medium heat- just till a little soft, then added those other veggies. careful to cook them to complement the texture of the dish. wanted things to still have a bit of crunch to make things interesting. nothing more depressing that getting bored with your big old bowl of risotto.

the risotto stock thing happens once more, the rice was al dente: firm, cooked, delish. i know when, i tasted it all along.. the risotto was sticky and so good. here, some people could probably add cream, some cheese, some truffle oil- whatever to make it more rich- this rice was holding the tiny hand of some delicate spring veggies, so i left good enough alone after seasoning with s&p, of course. half went into a bowl for transport, half was spread on a sheet tray for quick cooling (and thoughts of risotto cakes for tomorrow).

bacon's done. cooled- nice and crisp. tucker got some for being such a good dog and for sharing my love of bacon, and the rest is chopped. i layered the veggies and bacon and some basil in the bowl. once at the miracle fortress, scooped up a nice mound for each of us, served with grated parmesan, and a big hunk of shadeau's ciabatta.

comfort food at its finest.

the next day's meal- balls of risotto rolled in panko breadcrumbs, fried, topped with a tomato sauce.