corn

roasted corn salsa. it went down like this: roasted the corn on the grill yesterday. today added 3 cloves garlic, 2 jalapenos, 1/2 red onion, all chopped fine. 4 tomatoes diced. lots of s & p. juice of two limes, a spoonful of sugar, a dash of rice wine vinegar. if you wanted, you could add cilantro, but i must say that i think the corn flavor of this salsa doesn't need all that extra greenery.

today we moved jenna home to her apartment. so nice for her to be in her space. i was surprised how much it got me thinking about wanting MY own space. i have been living here with mama llama and alaina.. in this big old house with plenty of space, a wonderful kitchen. it has been a nice place to land after all that transition.. i have fondly started thinking of the place as a sorority house (RUSH alpha sigma mu!) full of ladies, coming and going, doing their own separate things for fun, not getting in eachothers way, catching up in passing.

i am a little nervous to start looking for a spot for me and tuck, as it means two big things. 1) i'll be living on my own and 2) means i am here in cincinnati for a bit. i haven't done much living alone. that is a weird concept for me. i have always preferred to have people around, coming and going. somebody to eat the food that i'm making, someone who is there late at night for those amazing only-when-you're-roommate conversations. obviously, i am in cincinnati and will be for now. but i guess i get held up at the flexiblity that this current arrangement affords me. i could save my money for travel- i could save my money for some big dreams that take big money.

but today, seeing how much it meant for jen to be in her own space, with her things, knowing it was hers and she has created it as a sweet little haven with timmy, how good would that do me? while this home has been wonderful and open to me, it is not mine, i don't have many things in the space that are mine, relective of me- as i was able to do the wonderful exercise of leaving behind most of my belongings in walla walla. i hadn't, until recently, set up any sort of shop in the kitchen.

sometimes i wonder if i would feel more settled, in myself, in being here, if i were to have this space of my own, with my own things, with time alone in a space of my creation. i have lived on my own since i first moved out ten years ago and i wonder what the subconscious effects of living back home at this point, at this age, at this crossroads are. i can't help but feel slightly irresponsible, feel the burn of embarrassment that i am not providing for myself. but that is all on me, as the generosity of my mom and sister to share 'home' with me is given so freely and without question (maybe they even kinda like it!)

the nice thing is that i don't need to decide right now. i can keep picking up dishes and bark art at the thrift store until the next direction presents itself.